It's over with

Normal service will be resumed after tonight tea time when all this adulting is over and done with after the last two weekdays and I'll be glad to come in change to grey shorts and just be Chris_minor, adult but child me and let all that stress out playing with my new lego bits.

You see this stuff is hard, indeed the last time I did it I felt to pieces from the inside out even if on the outset that was more about being of service whereas this is a citizen role that while not impossible to get out of you would want to because you'd want to feel that if it came down it it ordinary people would look at a case in Court and form a judgement independently on something that could affect your personal and professional life.

There will be a period where especially on Tumblr it'll be a game of catch up only having the weekends and odd hour on a weekday to post over this period so I'll be taking it steady not over doing things.

Bye for now.

Some thoughts from Stevie Smith.

Do you want to be a real boy? 

Don’t give 50 people strings to hold,

To pull you in 50 different directions.

Don’t dance to the most stylish rhythm,

Or sing the everyone’s-doing-it song,

Or bathe in the praises of puppets,

Or win races you don’t want to run.

Don’t paint on one single expression,

Pretending joy, faking happiness, beaming confidence you don’t have.

Be imperfect. Because that’s what you are.

Because real boys are never perfect.

With their embarrassing moments,

With their hurtful mistakes,

Because real boys hurt people sometimes with their imperfections,

And they don’t rewrite it, or reframe it, or pretend it didn’t happen,

They feel it.


Do you want to be a real boy?

Listen to your own thoughts.

Not the should’s but the wants. 

What do you want?

How do you feel?

Listen.

Know the spinning wheels in your mind,

Know the cause of every spine tingle, every bubble of anger,

Every choked down tear, know your own self.

Do you want to be a real boy?

Be with people. Not to impress them,

Or to get something from them,

Or to impress someone else,

But to know them.

Because life is short and not worth a single moment if you’re nothing but a porcelain doll on a string.

I hope you’ll be a real boy -

Offering yourself to other real people - and even fake people,

People who need so badly to be real.

Because real boys help others cut their strings,

Wipe off their painted-on emotions,

Hear their own thoughts,

Break through the porcelain to the vulnerable skin beneath.

Do you want to be a real boy?

To me that sums up the choice I have and the one I have made to take my journey in boyhood with.