On Friendships and Relationships

Sometimes I think we can get on the wrong foot when it comes to how we form and maintain relationships and as males we tend not to be so good at it, perhaps because few cared to show us how.

Focus is a main thing.

Are we wishing to be someones friend or lead others in activities or play for how that may make us appear in the eyes of the wider world, a favourable comment or an attempt to be seen as a leader as if it is about us?

I feel when it comes to motivation being less concerned around that but looking more what we can offer others and from that what we may gain from that - seeing others happy, having fun can be enough

There are things we need to be mindful of,

This speaks volumes to me.

We can get so fixated on solving problems, righting wrongs that we feel we are not making a difference to someone we care about but just being there, walking along side them is really what we need to be doing more.

When you care for some one you just do.

We love them for what they have to offer rather than what wemay feel our needs are.

When was it we last told them we love them?

Do it.

Feel it.

Show it.

Above all, Say it.

Thoughts for February

We enter a new month which has seen some growth at the forum with new members contributing to our discussions around past childhoods and adult little boy/adult schoolboy life which is a always a good thing cos everyone brings a different take to the whole.

We've always kept things to that which as boys then we knew and were appropriatefor within our eyes and ears back then rather than getting more into things that come under "adult content" rather like this blog does and for the same reasons.

Our world include a lot of wholesome stuff whatever misfortunes as individuals we may of faced and for me there is a lot of the spirit of Christopher Robin and Winnie The Pooh in that very boyish innocence and to me honouring that matters.

For me there is something quite profound in what AA Milne sets out around the value of friendship, true lasting friendships and looking for the good because they help sustain our basic human needs even in the most difficult of situations we may find ourselves.

These are the things we need to be prepared to hold on to and where needed, renew.

The cup of love for one another replenishes the soul.

Why best friends?

Seeing the difficulties some people are facing I thought the wisdom of Winnie The Pooh seemed rather appropriate because the kind of friendships we formed initially at school, then our home circles and later on college or work do go a long way in meeting our needs.

The company of those who may be connected around a cause or hobby by itself seldom enough because it lacks the depth being focused on the role and not actually about getting to know and understand the whole you such as what really matters to you, the times you may struggle with confidence or in need of emotional support.

Yes boys and men do have emotions and need to let them out as much as to let in others they trust for their own emotional wellbeing, talking through things.